The Third Act is my name for those years after age 60. For me, looming behind this third score of years was a murky uncertainty. From an actuarial perspective, the World Bank says that between 20-25% of people never experience the Third Act. And even if you make it, literature and media often paint these years as dreary, fraught with decline, disease and, death. Grim!
DOUBT WILL DERAIL
As the years go by and I move beyond the “over the hill” jokes at age 40, the AARP jokes at 50, and the queries about impending retirement that begin at 60; there is a certain realization that these years, this Third Act, really can be the best years. I had doubts about my Third Act, but I’ve discovered that after these doubts are banished, trepidation disappears and the joy of this era is exposed.
1. Doubts about fitness
Even if you have lived a life as a couch potato, in order to avoid the diseases of the sedentary life, bold, consistent steps toward fitness will buy you more years of vitality and health. Even in the Third Act, muscles can be strengthened, flexibility improved, balance enhanced, weight lost, and medications reduced. Make mobility, health, and fitness “top shelf” in terms of importance and priority. Spend time and money to enhance your health. Hire a coach, join a class, and solicit some friends for the journey. Keep those appointments, and chronicle your progress. As you do, doubt will fade as your fitness improves.
2. Doubts about finishing dreams
Did you really want to pursue a graduate degree in another field, but elected a safer choice to get a better job? Did you forgo studying abroad to hurry to marry? The Third Act is for rediscovering those lost loves and unfinished desires. Commit to reading books, attending lectures, and taking courses in areas that were out of reach when you were busy building a career and rearing children. Maybe you want to return to your activist roots, throw clay, blow glass or play the violin. Now is the time to “just do it!” If you don’t have a bucket list, write one. Write 100 (or 1000) things you want to do, experience, or say and start checking them off. As you do, occupy with confidence about finishing strong and leaving legacy grows.
3. Doubts about finances
I have a strong desire for financial security but I did not start doing anything about it until I was almost 50. I have a friend who started planning for retirement, the day she got her first job. She was consistent, bought properties, saved and invested money, worked hard, and retired wealthy before 60. Another friend lost virtually everything during her husband’s unexpected illness and death, but now she is emerging like a phoenix from the ashes. There are as many approaches to dealing with financial issues as there are people. Divorce, death, and downturns may all require adjustment and retooling for even the best laid financial plan. If you are concerned about how to make your finances last, get an advisor, follow their instructions, and banish the doubt that your financial situation is irredeemable.
CHANGE YOUR WORDS AND CHANGE THE OUTCOME
In a discussion with a literary agent, I noticed I spoke with trepidation about publishing “at my age” and made a self-deprecating comment about my full head of grey hair. What was the message I was sending her? What was I saying about myself? I was speaking insecurity, uncertainty, scarcity, and lack. That is the opposite of my truth, but my words were incongruent to that truth.
You are not too unfit, too far down the road, or over the hill to realize your dreams. You are not too old to make a plan and bring that plan to fruition. The bottom line is it’s never too late. On my fridge I posted these words “as long as you have breath, you have a purpose.”
What about you? What doubts linger in your heart about the transitions you are facing in your life right now? Can you revise your self-talk, reframe your doubt, and revisit the dreams you’ve set aside? If you do, doubt dies. I look forward to hearing your thoughts in the comments below.